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Spring Cleaning at Jane Ross'   The Jane Ross house has acquired a new coat of paint. This time round it is a sort of greeny, bluey, 'from glen to glen and down the mountain side' kind of colour. Jane of course, was the woman who jotted down that famous tune: "The Londonderry Air" . As is traditional on these occasions, for every man up a ladder doing a day's work, you have three or four standing around below, hands in pocket, offering welcome advice and constructive criticism.

Bookshop in Limavady   Our editor has always complained that there isn't a decent bookshop anywhere in town. Well, John Brown has opened a really nice one in Market Street. With penetrating logic he has called it "Books Upstairs", because that's where they are. Up the stairs you find a large selection of second hand and new books nicely displayed in a quiet, restful atmosphere. Just what Limavady needed.

No room for pedestrians   There must be a reason why Market Street is called a "pedestrianised area" - but it is a very obscure one. On this particular day, all the nice people who wanted to rush to the book shop had a very tight squeeze indeed. We think that this is a cunning plan thought up by the drivers of the offending vehicles. Not only do they enjoy free parking, but by forcing pedestrians to squeeze by, they also get the sides of their vans cleaned for free.

Emergency in Magilligan   11th April 2003. All ferry services to Greencastle were suddenly cancelled today. An ambulance was called, followed shortly afterwards by a police vehicle. A spokesperson said that there had been a "diving incident".

From Glen to Glen .....   Well, they've turned on the water tap and here it is: the Jane Ross monument. To us it looks more like a damp squib than a mountain side and most people passing the work of art seem to wonder what it might be and why somebody has put it there. This confusion arises because the illegible inscription is on the traffic side of the monument where it serves as a useful distraction to careless drivers trying to navigate the busy road bend. What this edifice needs is another inscription, and we make this our next caption competition. So far we have two suggestions, one quite useful and the other rather dated: Park your taxi on the other side. Kilroy was here. What do you think should be written on the other side?

Bad parking   The reason for the wailing sirens the other day can be seen outside Lidl's supermarket. This is obviously the result of either some very poor parking or an equally poor upbringing.

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