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August 2005

The monument Hidden meanings  

The photograph shows Limavady's largest monument placed firmly at the corner of Market Street, Irish Green Street and Catherine Street. On the other side are engraved the words: "From glen to glen and down the mountain side ..." It is not really explained whether this enigmatic phrase refers to sheep, water or even air, but locals will know that the words are connected with a fictitious male called Danny.

The monument has been in place for some time now and it occurred to us that its meaning isn't really very clear. Why the sphere and what is the meaning of the running water? Our editor thinks that this is meant to represent a badly parked taxi on a rainy day, but he is probably wrong as usual.

We invite our readers to write and tell us what they think these marble slabs are trying to tell us. The best replies will be printed next month. This little competition is obviously open to humorous verbal abuse so we state at the outset that only clean suggestions will be considered.

A load of grass Fallout in the Roundabout  

Drivers trying to navigate the Windy Hill rabout had to make a detour via Aghanloo the other day when the road was blocked by this half-hearted attempt at making silage.

The mess was soon cleared up and all is back to normal now. It is surprising that this sort of thing doesn't happen more often, because this particular rabout has such an awkward design that one would almost think the builders had built it like this deliberately.

Another monument An impressive monument  

Main Street is looking rather strange these days. Most of the building work around the Alexander Memorial Hall has come to a halt on account of the planners - though they managed to knock down a lovely old bricked stable anyway. There are reports of asbestos and rising demolition costs and all this before they even have planning permission!

Mind you, that combination of steel and sandstone, known as 'the facade' is very impressive looking. May we suggest that the council could just tidy the place up a bit, plant some trees and benches and keep the structure as it is. We can call it 'The Great Alexander Memorial'. That should fox the average historian.

A load of grass Local website goes wildly botanical  

Regular readers who wonder what has happened to our usual servings of colourful articles and in-depth photographs may be interested to learn that the Newsbrowser team has been temporarily distracted by a brand-new hobby.

You can study the result of their tireless efforts by following this link.

How not to serve lemonade Who serves lemonade like this?  

Our readership will know that we have a passion for well-meaning signs that convey a confusing message.

The photograph shows part of the label from a bottle of lemonade bought in a large local supermarket. It is a very good label and the lemonade is excellent. May we draw your attention to the writing on the right of the picture. Serving suggestion?

May we suggest that anyone who serves a glass of lemonade like this is either

  • blind drunk,
  • very angry,
  • in mid-tumble,
  • or all of the above.

You can find our complete collection of silly signs if you follow this link.

A load of grass Our lovely town  

This is Main Street on a bright Saturday morning. The air is crystal clear, the loading bay is full of parked cars and the boys from the council have just been by to water all the hanging baskets.

It's on days like this that one realises just how handsome the centre of town has become during the last few years.

A blocked passage Too much of a good thing?  

Readers of this splendid publication will know that the instinct to inform fellow citizens about all sort of useless things is highly developed in the area.

Witness the current obsession with sandwich-boards. In the centre of town it has become impossible to walk in a straight line. The current theory of sandwich-board usage seems to be as follows:

  • Pedestrian comes along and trips over boards.
  • Pedestrian falls and breaks a leg.
  • This will make the pedestrian feel very well disposed towards the shopkeeper who placed the sign.
  • Pedestrian goes to shop and buys half the inventory.

The photograph shows the exit from Newtowne Square to Market Street. The only reason that there is a navigatable gap is because the driver of the illegally parked car needed a prop to hold open the back door of his vehicle.


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