From
The

Roe Valley News Browser
on-line
Return
The News Browser

The
Silly Sign Collection
Road liable to subsidence


The Roe Valley is full of delightful human artefacts which aim to inform but occasionally miss the point - often making an entirely different point altogether. The collection below has appeared in the News Browser over the years and there is no doubt that - considering the wealth of local talent - it will grow and grow. If you click on the date above the item you will be linked to the original article in the above mentioned cyber rag.
 

 
April 2000

50m to the cliff
Mind you, the view is as spectacular as ever it was.
Tourist signs

Limavady is plagued by people who think that a beauty spot is not complete unless it has a few silly signs warning people not to enjoy themselves. This unfortunate tendency has reached rock bottom on top of Benevenagh mountain.

Your intrepid reporter came across the humorous sign shown on the left. Not only is it totally unnecessary as only a blind man would try and walk straight down to Magilligan from that particular spot, it is also completely wrong as the cliff is at least 300 yards away. Could it be that this lack of vision is really one of education?

June 2000

Another sign

This paper has often drawn the attention of its readership to some of the marvellous notices that seem to sprout out of the ground all over the town, usually forbidding something enjoyable.

Here is another astonishing example. This one is from the top end of the Country Park. Not only does it display the true artistic skills of a master calligrapher, but it also manages to impress the viewer with the graphic reality of just why the path is closed.

Keep out

January 2001

'We give children away for free' sign Limavady - Adoption Capital of the World?  

At the moment the national news is full of stories about buying children for adoption over the internet and the media are making a fortune writing about this. Very few people know that Limavady is way ahead of the American competition in this area of human endeavour.

Witness this sign outside at least one shop in Main Street today. Not only does the company give the children away for no payment whatever, but the brats - who seem to be trained falconers - even come with a guarantee.

How do you guarantee a child who likes to play with birds of prey?

A shop in Mainstreet

February 2001

A bus station sign pointing south via the earth's core Bus Stations and Building Works  

Regular readers of this notorious publication will know that we never cease to point out new attractions and the colourful signs that draw attention to them.

The new installation on the left, which graphically points the way to the nearest bus station, seems to be part of the road widening scheme at the bottom of the town, near the Shenandoah bar. It is rumoured that tourists who wish to take the bus will be issued with free shovels, locals must bring their own or apply in triplicate to the town council.

April 2001

Stating the obvious

Regular readers of the News Browser know that the editor has a weakness for curious signs and notices. Well, here's another one.

This wooden example of the human urge to inform, has grown up in the Country Park. It is very useful indeed and any passing tourist that is under the illusion that the glittering thing 20 yards away is some North American grassland under a burning sun and the accompanying noise the thunder of countless buffalo hooves, will instantly realize that the object is in fact a nameless river.

Let us just hope that they didn't cut the tree down just to make a sign.

A sign saying River with the River just a few metres away

June 2001

Mystery of missing Limavady Summer finally solved!

 
People in Limavady often complain about the weather. This is done for entirely justifiable reasons. Often we complain about the rain - if there isn't too much of it there is too little - but the complaint one hears most often is: "Where has the Summer gone? We haven't had a Summer at all this year".

The News Browser's star reporter has finally solved the problem when he stumbled across the sign on the right. How can there be a Summer if shops sell it the year before it is due? Presumably high powered holiday firm executives from Italy and Spain come to Limavady every year and buy our Summer - at a discount - and the rest of us have to make do with what is left over.

Sign saying: Summer 2002 for sale

October 2001

a stolen sign Honour amongst Thieves

 
The well known object on the left is a traffic cone. Currently quite a common object in Limavady. There are cones and there are cones, but this one is A CONE - ie it belongs to the Limavady police. Observant readers will spot the rather sloppy alteration at the top of the cone spelling out 'LIM' for Limavady.

It occurred to our reporter that the only ones likely to steal a lot of official police traffic cones are members of another police force - say from the Coleraine direction. Why else go to the trouble to write 'LIM' on every one of them? Unless of course an unfortunate young copper had to write 'LIM' five hundred times as a form of punishment.

November 2001

The Path to Health?  

Signs like the one on the right have appeared in the centre of town. They appear to be an x-ray photograph showing a person of any sex suffering from a greatly enlarged heart.

There are two schools of thought as to what this is all about:

  • The town centre is soon going to be jammed by flocks of hurrying joggers.
  • It is a graphic warning to the population at large showing what can happen to you if you walk too much.
Highway to health
 
March 2002
 
What are they trying to tell us?  

Here is another one of these strange signs that you can find all over the valley.

The location is Market Street and the place is clearly open, because you can see all the way up to Irish Green Street. The half building on the right side of the road behind the blue barrier is what is left of Alastair Smyth's old supermarket.

But why go to the bother to paint a thumping great big lie onto the barrier?

Market Street is closed sign
Where to turn to next??!!

Regular readers of this pathetic publication will know that our editor is always on the lookout for the many signs around the Roe Valley which, because they have been written and erected by very busy people, do not inform, but, depending on personal inclination, either confuse or delight the surprised passer-by.

Go either wayOur picture was taken outside the Chinese takeaway, the one between Brian Brown's solicitorium and the Limetree restaurant. The owners of the place are removing the chimney and have hired a huge crane to do the job. Closeup A big barrier blocks the footpath and the red sign with the two arrows gives the astonished pedestrian two alternatives. One is quite clear. Follow the right arrow and take your chances with desperate drivers trying to cram their cars into the very narrow parking spaces behind the bus stop. However, the drivers tend to concentrate on the precious paint work of their vehicles and might not see a mere pedestrian. So this choice could be deadly.

Trusting souls who follow the arrow pointing to the left will probably escape with their lives, but instead have three choices:

  • They can run smack into the wall. (This could be painful).
  • They can walk through either one of the two open doors and say hello to whoever happens to be at home. (This could be dangerous).
  • They can climb through the window into the solicitor's office and take out a summons enforcing sane signs. (This could be expensive).

May 2002

The restaurantNew Chinese Restaurant and Shopping Mall

Limavady has a new Chinese restaurant. We can't say how good it is because we haven't tried it yet, but the upstairs tables look very nice through the windows.

The place is easy to find because it is just down the road from "Super Valu" and opposite from "PETS R US". Part of the new building is a shopping mall and one of the first places to open there is called "U 2 can craft".

Rumours that the Tech is going to run a night class in one of the empty units called "U 2 can learn 2 zpell rite" are totally unfounded.

U 2 can have valu
 

October 2003

The Windy Hill RaboutThe Windyhill Rabout

There has been a lot of round-about activity recently. Work on the bypass and this particular rabout had been proceeding at a rather leisurely pace when one day all the stops were pulled so suddenly, one could hear the pop. So many machines running around in so many circles driven by so many men doing so much overtime hqve never been seen in the long history of Roe Valley road obstructions until now.

The builders were obviously trying to meet a deadline, because they quietly opened the bypass on Wednesday the 24th of September even though they hadn't finished the job yet. For a while there were more JCBs and other road building paraphernalia than cars on the last stretch of the road. The rabout had no white lines and occasionally one had to drive around it in an anti clockwise direction.

Since that busy day work has slowed down again - the official visitors must have left. Hastily drawn white road markings have disappeared under new layers of macadam and it will obviously take quite a few more days to finish this final rather rakish rabout.

Hopefully they'll leave the roadsign as it is.

Radison Spot the difference

May we ask our esteemed readers to compare these two recent signs. The right one can be found in Catherine Street and the other one disgraces Irish Green Street. If you concentrate your efforts on the brown section pointing out the Country Park and the biggest local hotel you may just notice a discrepancy.

The missing 's' was (or possibly wasn't) spotted by our famous spell-checker Meg, who can detect any spelling mistake blindfolded at 100 yards.

Radisson

December 2003

An alarmed doorPanicking exits

 
Stress, fatigue and needless worry are common illnesses around this time of the year: what with the weather, the lack of lengthy daylight and the annual Christmas-carry-on trying to drive us all mad.

The seriousness of this problem cannot be truly appreciated until one visits Tesco's supermarket where even the doors seem to have a hard time coping. Our editor tried to calm this one down but to no avail, it remained highly alarmed just the same.

If even the doors can't cope, what hope is there for the rest of us?


August 2004
 
A silly signNourishment  

As many readers will know, we are always studying the many informative signs which grace our lovely town. We simply couldn't resist this one, which we spotted on upper Main Street.

In this day and age all fast food restaurants seem to offer the same dull menu. So it is refreshing to learn that Limavady is one of the few places on this planet where you can still buy an honest to goodness, juicy soup sandwich.

Bring your own napkin. And make it a large one!

 

 

  December2004

Market Street in LimavadyWhat are they trying to tell us?  

We thought we would finish the year with one of those wonderful silly signs that are such a prominent feature of our little town. Considering that it is nearly the year 2005 this example of the genre is rather puzzling.

We came up with the following explanations:

  • There were no business awards in 2003.
  • The crummy building itself is the award and wasn't collected.
  • 2004 went by without the council noticing.
  • The 2005 awards will be even better.
  • They planned to knock the building down but forgot all about it.

Whatever the truth of the matter, at least the 'Roe Valley' part of the sign is relevant.


 April 2005

What is a Flute Light?  

Regular readers will be familiar with our passion for strange signs and this week's special offer from Lidl's is stranger than most. Our editor used to be an electrician and he has seen many lights but this one had him puzzled. After a hasty conference the team came up with these explanations. Flute light for sale

  1. Today is the 1st of April and this is just a lidl joke to celebrate the occasion.
  2. This really is a flute light and it enables people like James Galway to study their scores from a very great distance in the middle of the night.
  3. This is a standard halogen flood light and Lidl's translators subscribe to the strange theory that to translate something from German into English you just add an 'E' to the odd German word or two.

Whatever the reason, we can't wait for next week's special offers.


July 2005
 
No waiting at any time What is one supposed to do?

Regular readers of this wondrous publication will be aware that we are constantly on the lookout for silly signs - with which the Roe Valley is rather generously endowed. Our spellchecker Meg noticed this small but witty example near the junction of Catherine Street and Linenhall Street.

For readers who can't find their spectacles we have provided an enlarged cutout of the notice in question. The red hand points to the original. Anyone even vaguely familiar with the highway code will know that this sign informs the obedient motorist that he must not stop his car here at any time.

The problem is of course: What is one to do when the traffic light is red? Does one ignore the red light so as not to wait or does one wait and hence break the no waiting rule?

The driver who was parked here a tenth of a second ago obviously made his choice and jumped the light. What would you have done?

 
August 2005
 
Another monument Who serves lemonade like this?  

Our readership will know that we have a passion for well-meaning signs that convey a confusing message.

The photograph shows part of the label from a bottle of lemonade bought in a large local supermarket. It is a very good label and the lemonade is excellent. May we draw your attention to the writing on the right of the picture. Serving suggestion?

May we suggest that anyone who serves a glass of lemonade like this is either

  • completely drunk,
  • very angry,
  • in mid-tumble,
  • or all of the above.

 
February 2006
 
Cheap petrolThe price of petrol  

In these days of ever-rising fuel prices it is heart warming to know that there are some people out there who really care! Take Costcutters for instance who seem to have decided to live up to their name in a big way. 0.9 of a penny for a litre of unleaded petrol really is a very decent price and should ensure queues of customers from Derry to Coleraine once the word spreads.

The range - it must be said - is slightly limited and it is not clear whether they have run out of diesel or if they are giving the stuff away for free. But then - at these prices, who cares?

 

May 2006

Books upstairsIs this a silly sign?  
 

Regular readers of the RVNB will be familiar with our famous collection of silly signs. For some strange reason the Roe Valley is overflowing with these delightful objects.

Today's candidate for our collection demonstrates the point that it is often not the contents that make a sign silly - but careless positioning can certainly add an extra dimension.

 
June 2006
 
A yoghurt pottKnow your greens and blacks  
 

This strange looking yoghurt container was recently purchased in a local supermarket. After pondering the matter for a while we came up with the following possible explanations:

  • Due to global warming all fruits and vegetables have changed their shape or colour - possibly both.
  • All plants on the planet have recently been re-classified and the Newsbrowser wasn't told.
  • There is an educational abnormality in Tesco's yoghurt department.

However, this page proves that they are not alone.

 
July 2006
 
The road with too few eesThe Leighery Road - or is it the Leighry Road?  

The pictures on the right show our editor doing some basic research in local road names. The first shows him on the bottom of the Leighery Road and the second at the top of the same traffic artery where it joins the Bishops Road high up on Benevenagh.

As has been said during our disastrous drive through the valley, this must be the only road in Ulster that is so steep, it has to shed an E to get up there.

 
March 2007
 
A bit of a joke A bit of a joke?  

Seasoned readers of this amazing publication will know that our editor is always on the lookout for informative signs which - for one reason or another (or possibly both) - somehow manage to miss the point entirely. Occasionally the joke becomes apparent only when two cleverly designed notices are placed side by side.

Apart from showing how pointless it is for architects to design shops with large windows, this month's example is a case in point. We can only come to the following conclusions:

  • Either: The horse shop sells everything you need for your mount except bits - you have to go next door for one of those.
  • Or: As soon as you buy a bit in one shop, you can sell it in the other shop for a fat profit.
  • Possibly: They did this deliberately in order to get into the NewsBrowser.
 
April 2007
 
Don't read these papers Don't read this!  

Regular readers of this ageing publication will know that our editor is very fond of certain signs which - in one way or another - give the astonished public advice which it is often best to ignore. This particular classic of the genre was donated by two eagle-eyed readers. Many thanks to both of you.

We cannot quite figure out what the owner of this wonderful sign is trying to achieve.

  • If reading papers is forbidden, why go to the bother of trying to sell them all?
  • Have local papers become so dangerous, that they have to have a health warning?
  • Are they perhaps selling papers for use only by interior decorators - in which case why sell more than one reasonably absorbing edition?

We hear that certain customers have to hand in their spectacles on entering the shop to make absolutely certain that they obey the rules. These poor people find themselves in a double fix of course, because without their glasses they can't read that wonderful sign!

As our readers said: Only in Limavady!

 
July 2007
 
Mystery of missing 'E' solved  

No doubt many readers who followed our report about the mysteriously missing 'E' in the sign for the Leighry Road have thought that the missing little devil just sort of disappeared into thin air, never to be seen again.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Thanks to an eagle-eyed reader (much obliged, Jude) it has been firmly established that the missing letter has attached itself to the sign at the upper 'Moys Road'. There is a wonderful view over Benevenagh and Lough Foyle from that place, so we advise our readers not to read yon sign for too long!

What is it with the road service and the 'E' anyway?

The Moys(e) Road

The lower and the upper Moys(e) Road
 
February 2008

Hold your nose The mind boggles  

Regular readers will be familiar with our world famous collection of silly signs. It is indeed wonderful just how many of these delightful objects can be found in the Roe Valley.

However, for this one we had to travel as far away as the outskirts of Coleraine, where we spotted it prominently displayed in Sainsbury's store.

The question is of course: What precisely is Sainsbury's idea of good entertainment - and why does it take as many as 15 rolls?!


May 2008

AONB sign
Area of outstanding natural beauty

Large signs like this one in Aghanloo have appeared in various places proclaiming the  fact that the lucky reader is in an 'Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty'.

The authorities are to be congratulated for having finally noticed something that locals have known for many, many years!

This particular sign shows the mountain Benevenagh (spelled with an 'i'), dwarfed by an unnaturally large Mussenden Temple which seems to have slid down to sea-level, where it is being attacked by two giant waves.

What easily-frightened tourists will make of all this is anyone's guess. We can only refer them to our realistic Scenic drive  through the Roe Valley - which at least tries to explain the size of yon waves!


A hidden traffic siign Hidden advice

This silly sign was spotted by our eagle-eyed editor in Catherine Street. We are not talking about the big monster giving tourist advice, but about the wee sign right behind and totally obscured by its larger brother. 

The small black and white symbol under the blue and white parking sign shows a tiny bicycle, so evidently it is allowed to park a bike between the two signs, assuming that you can squeeze one in.

The obvious question is of course, why erect a sign in such a hidden location? Not only is it near invisible but it is downright dangerous. Sharp eyed readers will no doubt have noticed that the larger sign has a bent bottom right corner. Obviously a short sighted cyclist has collided with it while trying to read his sign.




August 2008

Sheep pens at the show The Limavady slave trade?

Regular readers will be aware that our editor can never resist a well designed, informative bit of sign posting.

Most people will agree that modern day slavery is a bad thing - but we feel that to sell them off at half price, really adds insult to injury.

For aficionados of the genre we offer a link to the rest of the collection.


September 2008

Don't follow uyon sign This way to the recreation ground?

This particular example of the urban planners' desire to inform can be found at the Derry entrance to Limavady. We have puzzled over the meaning of this strange sign and have come up with the following possible explanations:

  • The recreation ground has been moved into the garden of the orange hall but is only open to people from the southern hemisphere.

  • This is a trap for unwary tourists and a hidden camera is waiting to record the sign swinging to the right: clobbering all passers by as they come.

  • The sign is ready to fall - and somebody should really be told to fix it!

  December 2009

Just wait for the holdups. Over-specialisation in the building trade

Our roaming reporter came across this wonderfully silly sign the other day. The man is old enough to remember the times, when one could buy scaffolding fit to be used in any direction.

South, North , West even South West by South caused no problems whatsoever.

It seems that in this day and age if one needs to erect a scaffold, not only does one need  an accurate compass, but one may also waste a lot of valuable time looking for a competent specialist supplier.



  March 2010

A silly sign Another silly sign

Readers will be familiar with our customary hunt for enlightening notices with a slight twist which - for some unknown reason - are very common in the Roe Valley.

The beauty on the right can be found in what used to be Canning's yard. It belongs to a rather massive recycling shop and the advertising certainly doesn't do justice to the contents of the place.

We can only advise the management to use no sign at all or - if possible - slide that wicked door a foot or two to the right!



  July 2010

An ironic signJuly's silly sign

Regular readers will know that our highly trained team of investigators scour the Roe Valley countryside for mis -placed,  -spelled or -begotten notices of public information.

It has to be admitted that this sign is not particularly silly - unless you enjoy the rather weak joke - but we cannot deny that the choice of location shows a certain irony.




  August 2010

13 signsBillboards, billboards everywhere.

This photograph was taken at the beginning of the month in Market Street. Experienced sign-counters will notice instantly that there are at least 13 different billboards - not counting the ones hiding behind larger billboards.

So help us - there are even  billboards inside other billboards.
Subliminal advertising?
Commerce is a wonderful thing of course, but it seemed to us that a rather nice pedestrian area has been severely degraded by the over-enthusiastic application of obstructive advertising. There are places where one can hardly walk without tripping over - or dodging around - these garish obstacles.


  December 2010

Huge kids for saleA silly sign from far away

Regular - and by now considerably older - readers  may remember the year when one could buy a raptor accompanied child in a certain shop in Limavady.

Well, it seems that they have gone one better in the United States, as this photograph sent by Mark McElwee from Norristown clearly shows. Apparently over there they offer for sale any offspring that eats too much and grows accordingly. If you time it right you can even get the brat for a bargain price.

What will they think of next?

  April 2011
Can yoy read this?Finding your glasses

Our far-sighted reporter came across this informative sign the other day. It's at Howard Caskie's shop - a well known optician in Limavady and elsewhere in the area.

It occurred to our reporter, that if you are at the shop to buy a pair of glasses in order to be able to read signs again, this particular notice will not be of much use to you - unless of course you spot it on your way out!


  December 2011
 
Limavady Christmas treeIt's that time of year again

We are talking about Christmas of course. To celebrate the occasion the council has - as in years gone by - erected this strategically placed tree in Drumceat Square. So far today the lights haven't been turned on but we feel sure that our worldly-wise readers can imagine what it will look like.


Experienced Newsbrowser readers will of course have noticed all the useless signs cluttering up the festive view on the right, but they may have missed the little green notice on the wall just behind the tree.
Fire Assembly point
As our close-up on shows, this is in fact an important public safety notice reading:

Fire Assembly point.

As it is fairly obvious that a large crowd of  people will have trouble assembling in this particular area - fire or no fire - we offer three alternatives:
  • They can all ignore the assembly point and run down Main Street yelling "Fire! .... Fire!" 
    As more than 200 people might be involved, this could cause a panic.
  •  
  • They can all try to obey the notice by climbing the tree. 
  • Depending on  the number of athletes participating this should be entertaining.

  • They could all link arms and dance around the tree singing bonfire songs.
  • This might be fun!
  January 2012
Man-eaters in Limavady

Man-eaters in Limavady

Whilst wandering about the town feeling somewhat peckish, our hungry editor happened across this appetizing lunchtime menu.

Whilst the £6 for a lunch seems reasonable he feels that £5 for what is bound to be a tough senior citizen is rather expensive, considering that a tender under 12 can be had for only £3.

The less said about the under 5's the better!

  February 2012
The townland sign for Ballycastle

Automated trolleys?

Regular readers of this publication will know that we are always on the lookout for signs that aim to inform but succeed in amusing or confusing the astonished reader.

This rather visible example of the genre has appeared on the way out of Tesco's car park. Notice it says:

Please note trolley will stop beyond this point

In our experience there are only a few things that will stop a trolley:

  • Another trolley driven by a determined shopper

  • A car carelessly parked in the car park and always in the way

  • You have one of those trolleys that won't budge no matter what you do.

None of the above can apply to all Tesco's  trolleys. So we can't help wondering: Just what is it that makes them all stop beyond this point?

Indeed, what is the point?

  July 2012
disabled toilet

Call the plumber

This month's silly sign can be found in many different places because it is a sign-writer's favourite. Our sample was spotted in the local college, a place where one would think that students are learned to talk proper!

All we can suggest is: Why put up a sign - why not just fix the thing if it doesn't work?

  August 2012
Not a red wall at all!

Limavady signs

Regular readers of this amazing publication will know that the editor can't resist silly - unusual - misplaced or misspelled signs and likes to draw attention to the best of them.

This one is on an alleyway leading from Market Street to the central car park. All we can say to the unknown sign artist is :"That wall isn't red at all - the red wall is on the right!"

  September 2012
A bill-less billboard

Do you get the message?

We didn't!

In the past this publication has commented on the plague of billboards that haunts the centre of our town. There seems to be an unstoppable urge to put as many of these ugly artefacts as possible into the path of innocent pedestrians. However: - on the right is the first bill-less billboard we have spotted in town.

This just confirms a theory we have always had: these objects are not there to convey a message at all, it's the obstacle that counts!

  November 2012
Silly sign

Silly Signs

It occurred to our editor in charge of silly signs, that any pedestrian encountering this particular sign who can work out what to do next and why,  deserves a pay-rise at least!

  January 2013

A highly dangerous buildingA dangerous edifice

Regular readers will be familiar with our world-famous collection of silly signs. These tend to confuse and amuse the reader in roughly equal measure. Well, here is our first sign of 2013 which can be admired in Main Street.

We don't really have much to add except wonder why anybody would dare to let  such a highly dangerous building.

  February 2013

Do (not) feed apples to horsesSilly signs

This public notice was spotted in the country park the other day.

As there was no horse-like animal to be seen for miles around and the gate was wide open, one can only assume that this is a general admonishment to the public - or possibly a guide  towards a new philosophy of life.

Horses and apple growers may not agree of course.



  July 2013

Irish music - Elvis and all

The sounds of music

This remarkably silly sign was spotted by our editor in a local store.

Says he:

"It gives one a whole new perspective on the history of Irish music, and certain puzzling events of the past, suddenly make a lot more sense!"

Whatever can he mean?



  October 2013

A sabotaged sign

A silly golf course sign

This admirable sign, which is more sabotaged than silly, can be admired near the back entrance to the Roe Park Resort hotel.

We have little to add, except that our reporter definitely was not in possession of a small paint brush and some red paint when he took this picture!


The real sign

silly turbines










Silly Signs for the Times

Above is one of the signs proclaiming the Binevenagh area of outstanding natural beauty. And of course, that is exactly what it is.

We feel however that the authorities should go with the times and if current plans mature and wind turbines a third the height of  the mountain are indeed planted on this beautiful spot, the sign on the right would be much more appropriate.

Not so much a silly as a sad sign, really.

We would like to thank that well known local character Maurice Quinn , who had the idea for this sign.

  January  2014

Don't be suicidal here

Cause and effect

Unlike most of the signs we report on, this one isn't silly at all. This rather sharp notice can be seen at the entrance to the former market yard - now just a big empty space.

It struck our reporter that one doesn't often come across such a vivid example of just why this barricade is so dangerous.


  October  2014
the wrong tailer park

A silly sign

We haven't had an addition to our famous silly sign collection for quite a while, mainly because over the years we found and published most of them. But here is a new one.

Imagine you were - say - a tourist towing a caravan coming to this town for the first time. You are desperately looking for a car park so that you can stop and spend some money. If you saw the sign on the right of our picture pointing to the North West Regional Collage (i.e. Derry tech) and a car park, wouldn't you turn left?

After making this decision you would unfortunately end up in a very narrow drive way wondering just how you can get out again - all the while mumbling some not very kind words about the people who erected the sign on this rather premature spot.

  February 2015

Another silly sign spotted in LimavadySign saying: Press buzzer for assistance 

This sign is not just silly, it is a somewhat antiquated leftover of the Daintifyt factory which used to operate here in days of yore.

Our reporter pressed the button several times to ask for assistance with fixing this bell, but there was no reply.

The sign of course was silly even when there was assistance available. The buzzer referred to in the sign was at the other end of the wire in the gate house. People at this end could only press the push button which activated the noisy thing!


  June 2015
A very slow ramp Slow moving Silly Sign

Our photographer reports that when he took this photograph near the Scroggy Road Health Centre, the ramps mentioned were so extremely slow - they were practically stationary!





  October 2015

A parking signSilly Signs

Our watchful reporter spotted this sign outside the Cultural Centre where he was parking his car.

The sign is somewhat vague, but this is his interpretation: You are allowed to park your car for precisely one hour, because once parked there, you are not allowed to return to your vehicle within that one hour. This means of course that it is mathematically impossible not to exceed the time limit. One hour plus a minute or two to get into the car, store your shopping and then drive away takes extra time. This means of course that it impossible to park there without running the risk of being fined - quite clever really!

However. Our man beat the system. He started his stopwatch the second his car was parked, waited at the door until the hour was up, jumped in and rushed away - nearly ten seconds before the traffic warden - who was sprinting up Main Street - managed to get there.
  February 2016

Many silly signsSilly signs galore

This is a look at the above-mentioned building activity from the Catherine Street direction.

Now -  we can understand the need for one sign - even two signs might seem reasonable. We fail to understand however why this particular spot needs five of the red and white little beauties.

By the time the average person has read his way through this lot, the pedestrian traffic light will have gone red and he will step out on to the road to be run over by the next five cars!

This is obviously one example of the fact that even though none of these signs is actually silly, silliness is achieved by a very careful arrangement and great attention to detail.




  Summer 2016


Piano's next door
Silly signs: They'll never get a piano through that opening!

This splendid silly sign was found by our ever-alert reporter on the old broughan wall that surrounds the Drenagh estate. The sign reads:

 PIANO SHOWROOM Next Right

followed by a very impressive arrow.

When we consulted our resident music expert he simply said:

"The only way to get a piano through that gate-way would be to hire some strong men with sledges and hammer it through the opening! But who wants a hammered klavier in this day and age?"



Sonate für das Hammerklavier


 




To the Roe Valley page
 
Two Tudors