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March 2002

Waiting for the Ferry Man  

Work at the new ferry terminal at Magilligan Point seems to be getting along quite well. Mind you, if they want to open the place in April they will have to put in some over-time. The parking area for the new ferry has already been laid out and at the moment they seem to be concentrating on the actual docking pier, about two thirds along the bridge.

In the foreground of our photograph interested parties can study the imaginative al fresco dining arrangements for hardened tourists. Having said that, the Point Bar is currently working on an extension and it wouldn't surprise us at all if they didn't end up offering refreshments of all kinds to the hordes of intrepid travellers just waiting to cross the Foyle.

Where is the ferry?
The building below has been built at the entrance to the new development. It must be either the new customs office and/or a reception centre. It is anyone's guess what that strange metallic object in front might be. Is it a greenhouse? Could it be a cage for escaped prisoners from the nearby jail?

Only time will tell.

A strange new building
Our reporter has kept the best bit till the end. The road to Magilligan Point has been fixed! What used to be a bumpy ride guaranteed to make hardened sailors feel unwell is now a smooth journey over a shining band of tarmac.

True to our dictum: 'We show the pictures that other papers don't dare publish', we present our readership with a close-up of the new road.

The new road

The road to Magilligan Point.

Building the Bypass  

Here is a dramatic shot taken by our master photographer showing nearly all of the new bypass, (on a good day).

The bypass

The picture was taken from the Seacoast Road. The white area in the front is the site of the new Roe bridge. Behind it are the playing fields of the Rugby Club and the Tech, the heap of brown earth in the background past the bus terminal is close to McCausland's estate and white smoke in the distance marks the spot were brush wood is cleared to make room for the new roundabout that will link the bypass to the Murderhole Road.

Quite a site!

The doggy bin Picnic in the Park  

The doggy bins have reappeared in the Country Park and of course the best location to place one of these charming containers is right next to the best picnic table in the area.

We are trying to imagine a typical picnic:

It is summer, the kids are bored and have started to investigate the nearly full and astonishingly ripe smelling red container. The sun is hot and the busy flies buzz energetically from bin to table and back again. Meanwhile grownup noses examine the food suspiciously. What is this smell? They glance at each other accusingly and make humorous remarks about other peoples' lack of digestive control, how strong the country air in Limavady is and the how they wish they hadn't come in the first place.

Ah well, you can't win them all!

Karen is forty
Happy Birthday  

This enlarged greeting card was spotted in Main Street today. Our reporter felt that as by now all of Limavady must know that Karen is forty today, there is no reason to withhold this fact from the rest of the world.

Hello Karen, whoever you are. Happy birthday and have a lovely time.

What are they trying to tell us?  

Here is another one of these strange signs that you can find all over the valley.

The location is Market Street and the place is clearly open, because you can see all the way up to Irish Green Street. The half building on the right side of the road behind the blue barrier is what is left of Alastair Smyth's old supermarket.

But why go to the bother to paint a thumping great big lie onto the barrier?

Market Street is closed sign
Inside of shop
A surprising new shop

A new gift shop has opened in town. Next to Lidl on Main Street you will find Hanna & Browne in Tweedy Acheson's old clothing store. As our photograph shows, they sell more or less the same kind of goods as the Gift Centre - even the layout felt familiar.

Our reporter was quite amazed at the similarities. He was even more amazed when he noticed that the nice shop assistants looked exactly the same as the ones in the Gift Centre too. Could this be an unrecorded dramatic entry in the annals of industrial relations in this town?  

Limavady Conundrum #3

This is a tricky one:

"Where is the smallest park in Limavady?"

The answer will be published here in a week or so. As usual we will publish the name of the sender of the first correct answer in these very pages. At least that is what we would have done, if anyone had had a clue!

And here is a link to the puzzles so far.

Where to turn to next??!!

Regular readers of this pathetic publication will know that our editor is always on the lookout for the many signs around the Roe Valley which, because they have been written and erected by very busy people, do not inform, but, depending on personal inclination, either confuse or delight the surprised passer-by.

Go either way Our picture was taken outside the Chinese takeaway, the one between Brian Brown's solicitorium and the Limetree restaurant. The owners of the place are removing the chimney and have hired a huge crane to do the job. Closeup A big barrier blocks the footpath and the red sign with the two arrows gives the astonished pedestrian two alternatives. One is quite clear. Follow the right arrow and take your chances with desperate drivers trying to cram their cars into the very narrow parking spaces behind the bus stop. However, the drivers tend to concentrate on the precious paint work of their vehicles and might not see a mere pedestrian. So this choice could be deadly.

Trusting souls who follow the arrow pointing to the left will probably escape with their lives, but instead have three choices:

  • They can run smack into the wall. (This could be painful).
  • They can walk through either one of the two open doors and say hello to whoever happens to be at home. (This could be dangerous).
  • They can climb through the window into the solicitor's office and take out a summons enforcing sane signs. (This could be expensive).

And here is a link to the entire Insane Sign Collection

 
Limavady Conundrum #3

 
The sickening answer is in fact a park within a park.

 

Which brings us to

Limavady Conundrum #4

 
This one is a historical puzzle which spans many thousands of years:

"Where in Limavady did Oliver meet the Flintstones?"

The editor will decide who has won, should we get our first winner. In case of disputes the following two rules will be strictly enforced:

  1. The editor is always right.
  2. Should the editor be wrong, rule one will apply.

And here is a link to the puzzles so far.

Football  

We have finally found a reliable source for football results and can tell exiled Limavady United supporters what happened to their favourite club.

2nd of March
Limavady were beaten 3:1 by Lisburn Distillery. This means that they have 33 points and are nowhere near the top of the table.


15th of March
Sad news, Limavady United lost to Institute 1:4. Better luck next time.


20th of March
This is getting worser and worser. Limavady United lost again, this time it was 0:1 against Larne.


23rd of March
Bangor beat Limavady comfortably with 3 goals to none. This means that Limavady is fourth from the bottom of the table. Things can only get better!


26th of March
Signs of a miraculous recovery. A 0:0 draw with Ballyclare Comrades shows that Limavady is on the way to a full recovery!


30th of March
Finally. Ballymena United must have been slightly less united than the Limavady lot, and lost 1:0 Limavady's goal scorer was Ryan McIlmoyle who scored in the 66th minute. Well done boys.




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