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February 2002

An 'orrible red fence The Fencing Master strikes again

This new structure has recently appeared in the Country Park. "Nice fence, pity about the colour - " we hear you cry, " - but why ever is it there?"

Well, originally it looked as if someone had stolen a load of black stones and was trying to bury the loot, because all the evidence ended up two inches below what used to be the picnic lawn. Since this first rather hasty theory we have figured out what has really happened. The park people are very fond of ducks and they have dozens of the little critters. These inventive birds promptly converted the grasslands around the pond into a lovely mucking sucking quacking paradise - impassable for all but ducks.

The fence and the now invisible black stones are there to spoil the quackers fun.

By-Pass Mania hits Limavady

Building the new by-pass seems to have generated so much feverish building work that everyone concerned has swooned away. Frustrated by all this inactivity the Country Park people must have decided to build their own by-pass - around the field made notorious by that Famous Limavady Cattle Stampede.

The work is well in progress and will involve some hard core, at least one fly-over and a solitary picnic table.

That wee spade seems to have done more work than all the much larger digging implements by-passing Limavady.

A very small spade
A Limavady Chopping Spree

All the trees that used to line Limavady High School's all-weather tennis courts have been chopped down. When driving down Connell street around the police station the devastation is instantly visible and the place is now quite ugly.

We do not yet know why this was done but surmise that this is a graphic geography lesson. It teaches local kids how important it is not to knock down tropical rain forests. After all, if we fell every tree that dares to grow in town, it is important to persuade others not to do the same or there will be no trees left in the world at all.

Limavady Conundrums

In order to liven up this dreary time of the year our editor has decided to launch a series of local puzzles. Readers are invited to e-mail their answers and the clever person who sends the first correct solution will be able to see his or her name in large red letters in these very pages. If no correct - or indeed any - answer is received, we will post the solution in a few days' time and pose another silly question.

Here is Conundrum #1

Where is the best place in town to buy medicine for a sick bird?

Click here to reply

Re-cycling a Car

This burnt out vehicle has been gracing the lower Country Park car park for some time now. The notice on the door is from Limavady Council informing anybody that can read that they intend to remove the car four days ago. Do they really think the owner is going to come back and claim this wreck?

Come on Damian, here's your chance to get a better set of wheels!

A burnt out car
Removing the wires Peace and Quiet?

These two handsome characters were spotted this Monday removing the wires from those dreadful loudspeakers that were used over Christmas to blare unrecognisable fragments of noise at frightened passers-by.

This could mean one of two things:

  • Someone has finally decided that enough is enough and that we are all old enough to listen to our own kind of music when and if we want to.
  • They are going to install an even louder public address system to drive us all mad.
Let's hope the choice is for peace and quiet.
Renovating Market Street

 
On the right is all that is left of John-Paul's clothing establishment. It is rumoured that the proprietors had the good sense to leave the establishment before the walls started to disappear. The building looks quite strange at the moment and one can't help wondering what might happen should a sudden storm pass by.

John Paul's
Alastair Smyth's On the left are the remains of Alastair's old Smithy. The former supermarket has been lying empty for a long time and the builders seem finally to have moved in.

It is good to see some of the older buildings in Market Street being modernized and it will be nice when some of the empty businesses open up again. Market Street should look much better in a few months' time.

Limavady Conundrums

It is time to reveal the answer to our first riddle. No correct replies were forthcoming when we asked: "Where is the best place in town to buy medicine for a sick bird?", though some people will kick themselves when they follow

this link to see the amazing answer!

Which brings us of course to Conundrum #2. The same rules apply. The sender of the first correct answer will see his or her large lettered name in the very pages of this notorious publication. Here it comes:

Condundrum #2

Where in Limavady do they sell the most elusive furniture?

Click here to reply

Spoil-Sports

 
On the top right is a picture of the road that runs past the Country Park centre taken only a couple of weeks ago. It was going to feature in a 'Limavady death traps' article because of the marvellously clever way that the parked cars block the view onto the brow of the hill. Anyone who had to pass that lot would quiver in his boots.

The article was going to feature some typical outdoor types who couldn't even drag themselves from the car park to the office and who spend their days driving through the forest on little tractors and miniature JCBs.

All in vain! Someone must have had a quiet word with them quite recently, because suddenly the road is as empty as the car park used to be. Could the police have paid a friendly visit? Has someone suddenly realised how dangerous the place was? Nobody knows, but the clear road is much appreciated.

Limavady Conundrums

Below is a link to solve our second riddle. No correct replies were forthcoming when we asked:
"Where in Limavady do they sell the most elusive furniture?", but then you can't win them all.

Click this link to see the slippery answer!

Conundrum #3 will follow next month.



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