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  November 2001

A starburst Fireworks  

Fireworks have been a great nuisance this year. They have been exploding for the last three months all over the valley - most of them apparently are illegal imports supplied by crooked traders. Little and large brats have been throwing the explosives at dogs, people, children and even at babies in their prams.

The council - aware of the distress caused by the constant explosions - wrote a letter to the relevant minister urging her to ban all fireworks. To celebrate this sensible action they staged a massive fireworks display themselves, the day after halloween - guaranteed to please the eye, deafen the ear and make every border collie feel suicidal. Let's just hope that this will end the din for the rest of the year.

Doesn't Time Fly?  

The three gentlemen on the right have been put on light work - it must be close to Christmas because they are installing the lights already! "There is nothing like getting ready in good time", one of them was heard to mutter.

Unfortunately the dreaded loudspeakers are also in place and we can all look forward to a bright but noisy Christmas.

Installing lights
The Limavady bypass The Limavady Bypass  

After talking about the thing for more than thirty years it was suddenly decided to start building the bypass a year or so early. Well done boys, but with that much planning, shouldn't the result have been a bit prettier?

For readers who are not sure whether or not a roving bulldozer is going to knock down part of their house next month, we present a map. The bypass is in red. It links up with the Murderhole Road and the Coleraine road. There is a townlink somewhere near the bus depot. It looks as if the Rugby Club will have to concentrate on miniature golf in future.

The Path to Health?  

Signs like the one on the right have appeared in the centre of town. They appear to be an x-ray photograph showing a person of any sex suffering from a greatly enlarged heart.

There are two schools of thought as to what this is all about:

  • The town centre is soon going to be jammed by flocks of hurrying joggers.

  • It is a graphic warning to the population at large showing what can happen to you if you walk too much.
Highway to health
Autumn in the Country Park  
Autumn
Talk on Aghanloo Airfield  

John Quinn who wrote the book: "Wings over the Foyle" is going to give a talk about the airfield and related matters in the Aghanloo community centre. This will be on Friday the 23rd of November at 7:30; admission is 2 pounds.

Rosemary Savage, who is in charge of the Aghanloo historical archive, would like anyone who has any memorabilia or photographs from that time, to contact her so that she can add copies to the archive.

The Court House The Courthouse  

There is a lot of noise all around town about 'Saving our Courthouse'. The Newsbrowser feels that although the idea of a lot of solicitors asking the town's population to help reduce their travelling expenses has a certain innocent charm, it must be emphasised that the actual building is not under threat - just the proceedings within.

This being so, our legal experts have come up with a unique solution to this intractable problem. If all the citizens of Limavady were to commit numerous and heinous crimes like illegally parking on the double yellow lines along Main Street or abandoning their cars in the central car parks without buying a ticket or, perish the thought, parking outside Tesco's three deep with no intent ever to move again; and all Limavady solicitors were to promise (in writing) to defend the participants of this protest free of charge for, say, the next five years - the court ought to be so busy, they wouldn't even dream of closing it down for the next two decades at least.

The Christmas Lights  

Tomorrow is the first of December and at 4:30 in the afternoon the mayor will switch on the Christmas lights. For those of you who:

  • Can't wait or
  • can't be there
  • or suffer from a nervous disposition and would be frightened by the sudden change in lighting conditions
we give a little preview. This is what it will look like - unless the electricity fails again.
Last years Christmas Lights
 


 
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